Friday, July 22, 2011

Married Moms Feeling Like Single Parents


NORTH TEXAS (CBSDFW.COM) – There’s hardly a mom who’s not feeling stressed out these days. They’re overwhelmed with work, home and parenting responsibilities.
And because many of their husbands work long hours or travel a lot, they feel more like a ‘Married Single Mom.’
Amy Upton is a 28-year-old, full-time working mom in Friso. But her husband Rob is often away on business, making her feel at
times like she’s on her own.   “I can see why women have a hard time being a single mom, because it feels a lot like that.”
Her daughter Naveah is 4-years-old.  Son Ethan is 10-months-old.  “You do learn to juggle things. And it is hard and tough at first but I think you become very much in your routine and you’re just like that,” Amy said, snapping her fingers.
For the past two years, she feels like she’s been living her life in 10th gear with a frequent stress level at an 8.
In a survey of more then 12-hundred women by ForbesWoman andTheBump.com, a whopping 92-percent of working moms said they felt overwhelmed by it all.
“We do counseling and stuff like that to make things better and it’s not because they’re not good husbands or anything. It’s hard being on your own,” Amy said.
Two out of three women surveyed said they resented handling all the household chores alone.  “You do sometimes take it out on them because they come home and they want to relax and then you’re expecting them to help take care of the kids. You both have your reasons for being tired and wanting a break and it’s just hard. So, you do butt heads a lot,”Amy said.
Amy thinks her husband is great, and she’s grateful to have someone to share the financial responsibilities with. She thinks the economy put their family on this fast track, forcing her husband to travel more.
Amy says she’s just living as a woman in this day and age, not Superwoman.  “I don’t know if it’s Superwoman it’s more just having to survive.”
One thing that might help is a break – especially for stay-at-home moms.  97-percent of them say they could use a little time out from mommy duties.

2 comments:

Love{&}Bugs said...

I have felt like a single mom at times too. Then again, I'm sure being a single mom is even more challenging than what I've gone through so I learn to just appreciate the little help that I get from time to time.

Dallas Single Mom Examiner said...

Being a single mom is a hard life especially if the ex or the child's father doesn't help financially, emotionally or is completely out of the picture. Here's my advice as a single mom that gets questions from married moms who go through the same thing.

1) Have a serious conversation with your husband about the amount of work you have and stress. (Yes, he may be traveling and working hard but you are too).

2) Co parenting is essential for your husband. He needs quality father time with the kids. He shouldn't be out golfing or hanging with friends when he's home from traveling and should be spending valuable, quiet kid time with the kids - Prepare the kids for quiet, relaxing kid time with dad (books, movies, tv) - then you can get things done without interference from hubby & kids

3)Money & Finances - Single moms have the added burden of wondering how to stretch more of their income to provide for the children. Remember a single mom spends about 34% of her income on childcare in addition to household expenses. Consider yourself a little lucky to be home (no childcare expenses) or parting with only 12% of your combined incomes on childcare. This is a stressful area and financial counseling may ease that for families.

4) Tap into your loneliness - Do you miss your husband? That makes sense if he's gone all the time. I have many friends that try to plan outings with their partner when they come home only to have them come home and either not want to go or not fully engaged in the activity. Then my friends are upset because they spent all this time planning and they feel unappreciated by their spouses. So spice up your text message life & remind him how proud you are of him, how much respect you have for him for providing and working hard. Engage in adult talk with friends or activities that's not all kid related.

5) Plan, plan and plan some more. That's the best way to organize and prioritize. Don't get down on yourself if the house is always messy OR if you haven't completed something. Start small, the accomplishments add up and boost your confidence.

Thanks for this post. At first I was offended but I see it as a way to share how I do it. Granted I miss the company of someone special BUT I keep myself very busy and I love what I have accomplished so far. Good Luck!